Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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