Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize