If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
