brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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