He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
