You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
