im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
