it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
