the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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