My room smells like vodka and shame
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't deserve a penis
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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