why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
