Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
