Farmville is her only friend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
