I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
