i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Your penis caused this!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
