can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
