we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
