dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
false alarm, still single
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
