JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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