I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
