She is in my trunk
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
