I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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