:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
