About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
don't judge my taste in strippers
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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