Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
