That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize