what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You pole danced in your parka.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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