how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
