i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
