just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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