Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
