It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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