Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
