dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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