can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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