I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
