we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
