yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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