i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
