small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
