just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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