White coat. Heels.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
