What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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