they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
