I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
