feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
