I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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