I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize