there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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