I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
