I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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