I bet he comes in French.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
