i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
