Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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