no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
