i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
