I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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