So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
