Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
