i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
