Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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